I have only been a few days out of the hospital, and so it is now coming up to 2 weeks post-op. I had the illusion that my days would be full of catch up writing tasks, loads of admin that I am behind in and time spent watching tv at home with the love of my kids surrounding me. I may have watched a movie or two that showed this exact scenario played out. So I was surprised when I had the post-op blues.
Instead, the reality is that I have been too sick to hold my head up, let alone sit up and start writing. My head has been too foggy to keep a conversation going and my eyes so heavy that my dozing off is a constant occurrence. Don’t even get me started on the pain! I know now why most people stay in rehab centres post-op and don’t go home where sympathy and the right meds are needed in large quantities.
I have been waiting for this knee replacement for ten years! Yes, you heard me right, ten years!!! I have been continuously told that I am too young, so I pretty much had to grin and bear it until now! I have to say; my hat goes out to all those elderly people with multiple hip and knee replacements because this is harder than I ever imagined.
Now that one of my pain killers has been reduced (due to the fact it was making me sick to the point I hadn’t eaten in days), the pain has kicked up a notch (especially at night). It might seem like I am whinging, and this journal entry is all about my pain at the moment, well, it is not!
It is a bit of a thank you to my kids! For stepping up and allowing our roles to reverse for a while. Things like driving me to the hospital, coming to visit me, cooking dinner, reminding me of my meds, just continually being there for me when I am just a blubbering mess.
I appreciate the effort they go to daily, to look after me! I have also had unexpected visitors that have just made me realise that the kindness of others is a special thing. Until it is provided for you, until you are unexpectedly at the mercy of others, compassion is an undervalued necessity. Everyone needs it, but not everyone gets it.
It is also okay when you are at your most vulnerable to tell others how you feel; it is okay to say to others that you need help! I have never been one to ask for help, but this week for the first time I have reached out, and although it was scary, it was also so rewarding!
The blues are real, and it isn’t something that you can tackle on your own, regardless of what superhuman abilities you may have. You need all the love and support you can get, especially when you are at your most vulnerable. There will always be someone to call, someone to reach out to, so ensure that you do.