Okay, the heading might be a little misleading as it probably isn’t what you think it is. My husband and I are not separating, not divorcing and we are not splitting up; we are, however, just going to live apart for a while as we are in separate countries at the moment. It is what we need to do, for now, to ensure what is best for myself and the kids.
Making the decision to live apart for a while
I know that most people will be horrified by this statement. I also am prepared for those who are ready to judge us for the decision we have made. YES! I am ready!!! I am waiting!! AND I am sure I have heard it all before anyway. And perhaps once upon a time in my naivety, I may have been the one judging too.
This situation is not an ideal situation to be in and yes, looking back, I don’t believe this is what I signed up for in the beginning. The whole idea of moving abroad is for the family, and yet, here we are a family split between continents.
We do have an end date (which is in the not too distant future) to this arrangement. Because at the moment circumstances (most of them are out of our control), sees me spending more time with the kids and less with my husband. My poor husband has been doing most of the commuting as of late, with heading home every other weekend. Sometimes I have to wonder if we will ever get this expat balance right?
And of course, missing him is a given fact, it is fantastic to be with the kids every day, but it isn’t the same to not have my best friend by my side all the time. There are pro’s too as many cons to a long-distance relationship, and appreciating him is definitely one of them.
All of a sudden, I am dealing with every day physical life on my own and when he does visit, well then the stuff I usually would nag him about, is done without even a nudge or sarcastic snigger. LOVE IT!
We do see each other and speak to each other VIRTUALLY every day (thank goodness for modern technology), so it feels like he is here with us even though he is miles away. The two hour time difference is also great, and it means we can practically catch each other every waking hour and allows us the morning and nighttime rituals we have come accustoms to over the past 20 + years.
What happens next
I have now got the calender out, crossing off the days until normality comes back. And I can now see the light at the end of the tunnel, with some exciting things in the pipeline for both the two of us. And although this lifestyle change isn’t for everyone, it is for us for now for the interim as we live apart for a while.