I am not sure how others feel in Sydney, but this lockdown has me feeling blah! In other words, very different this time around. Usually (even in restrictions), I can find the positives in life, being able to be grateful for what life has to offer in any situation.
The hardest part about this is, I should love my time right now, having everyone under one roof and getting to spend cold winter days inside with the family! And I do! Trust me; I am thanking my lucky stars that I am here with the kids and hubby.
There are no other people in the world I would rather be spending this lockdown time with right now. We have done all the things I love, loads of quality time playing board games, eating meals, and watching the Olympics. I have even been spending loads of zoom time with the extended family, catching up weekly!
Then why am I feeling this way? My early morning routine has gone out the door, and I find myself struggling to get out of bed each morning! My love of cooking has seen me less inspired and more cooking for necessity these days. If I am brutally honest, I am somewhat relieved when “take out night” comes around! I am even finding my daily exercise routine becoming shorter each week!
I know that although I have a lot to keep me occupied! Work, family commitments, and a house to be built, but somehow I find myself running around in circles and wasting time – procrastinating as I have never procrastinated before. I haven’t even had the motivation to keep up with social media or stay on top of emails (sorry to those people I still need to get back to).
I know I don’t like winter! Anyone who has ever met me knows I don’t enjoy the cold weather! But the weather in Sydney has been beautiful for this time of year, with more people swimming in the ocean than I have ever seen in winter before.
But I think it is more than that! Sure we are living in cramped conditions right now while our dream home gets built! But this lockdown seems to be dampening my mood! With no actual end date, I can not plan for anything! I have no idea when and if my husband (who left today) will be back for Christmas, no idea whether we will have the house built in time, no idea when I will be heading back to Singapore.
Too many uncertainties right now that have made me unsettled and on edge daily. For an over-planner like me, well, it is my worst-case scenario! But, perhaps this new month will bring a new beginning I have needed right now.
That little bit closer to Spring, that little bit closer to knowing when and if we are coming out of this lockdown. People often speak about pandemic exhaustion, and I feel like perhaps this is what I am going through. Being exhausted every day, all day for no reason at all!
Perhaps I need to start changing up my routine! NO MORE 11 am news updates from Glayds (the NSW Premier), NO MORE listening and watching the news about the constant battle of vaccination issues here in Australia and, in particular, Sydney. I need to focus on what I can control, and today is the day I have chosen to start.
A little meditation, a little sunshine, and a little more positive thinking… Who knows what is around the corner and what the month of August will bring.
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